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For some, kids aren’t such a scary thing. I mean, they are little humans who are constantly learning. What’s so scary about that? A lot. A whole lot. Especially if you’re like me. One minute, you’re single, living in your own (clean) space, eating your own food without anyone begging and drinking late and sleeping in. Then, BAM! You’re married, with two kids and a dog trying to figure out why can’t you get your child to eat something other than chicken nuggets or how many glasses of wine can you really drink and still manage to wake up at a decent hour the next day. *sigh*
I know it sounds like I’m complaining but I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’m married to my best friend who is a truly amazing man and also nailed the husband thing down to a T. I’m lucky I found someone like that before I turned 30. (I’m 30 now. lol) I have two wonderful, smart, healthy baby boys that are so great and four step sons that make being a step parent not so scary at all anymore. How lucky am I? And now we have a dog which is super awesome. She loves my sons, even though the oldest seems to make her regret coming home with us.
So, with all that being said, why would the thought of balancing two kids seem so hard? If they are older, then nothing, really. But if they are, hmm let’s say 2 years old and 3 months old…then you’re kinda asking for it. And it’s not all bad but it’s different. It’s a challenge. You will be tired. But you’ll be so in love at the end of the day. I know I am.
With my first son, I didn’t know what to expect. Even reading books like “what to expect” and reading many blogs from other experienced mommies, I was still left thinking, “what have I’ve gotten myself into?”. Whereas I wasn’t really the most kid friendly (kids confused the crap out of me!) I definitely knew I wanted to be a mom one day. I wanted to experience the joy and pain of having your own. Understand the love between a mother and her child. Share something as intimate as a little you with someone you love.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I can’t say I was jumping for joy. I was in my prime, finally enjoying my 20s after getting out of a very bad relationship. I was having the time of my life with my (at the time) boyfriend. Then next thing you know, I’m sitting on a toilet seat texting my brother and crying my eyes out.
Not now! I can’t possibly be a mom now! I still have so much to do!
But it was true and the only choice I had was to grow up and learn to be a mom. The pregnancy journey was an interesting one, to say the least, but enjoyable. It was exciting. It was new. It happened so fast! But after my little guy was born, I was in love. He had my heart.
Fast forward 2 years later, I find out I’m pregnant again. I didn’t cry this time. But more of a “well, I hope I can handle this.” I’ve seen so many other women with young children around the same age and they make it look so effortless. They are all pros! How can I be like that?
I look back on my first son’s early months and I forgot all the small details that I’m now experiencing with my new little one. And I feel so guilty.
How could you forget when your son first laughed? or How many diapers you’ve gone through the first few months? I’m terrible.
Now, I’m finding myself reliving infant life while figuring out toddler life and it’s exhausting. I barely have time to do anything to my hair. (I now understand why so many moms cut their hair short.)
I’m now figuring out as I go, how to balance two small children at the same time. I’ve noticed, if you keep the oldest busy with something and try not to be all over the infant (because they do get jealous), then it’s not as hard as you would think. Though, I do have those days where nothing goes right.
There’s going to be those moments of struggle when no one wants to go to bed and all you want to do is go to bed. There’s going to be days where it seems like there’s no way of making anyone happy. There’s a lot of emotional struggle through it all. Being a parent is definitely not for the weak!
As time moves on, things do somehow, get easier. Soon, your kids will be independent and go to school and you’ll be asking yourself, “Where did the time go?” So for me, I try to enjoy every little thing. The hard stuff and the easy stuff. Because life is so short and your kids do grow fast.
Spit up in hair, sweats and all, I’m proud to be a mommy of two!
Until next time, enjoy those little moments.